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Why Chemistry Alone Does Not Make a Relationship

Tue, 20 May 2025 09:48:19 +0000

Why Chemistry Alone Does Not Make a Relationship

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I came to the understanding that there is someone out there that is better suited for me. Someone with whom I’ll share not only a physical connection, but a mental, emotional, and spiritual connection as well.

Our eyes met and locked in a gaze that lingered longer than expected. Strangers passing in a crowded room don’t usually do that. I was intrigued. My heart skipped a beat as Terrence decided against following his friends into the sea of bodies in motion and instead offered his hand and hello to me before I departed.

In spite of this initial spark, within a few weeks, our flame fizzled. All the sparks in the world couldn’t make him the kind of guy who called when he should and who followed through on the plans we made. And it couldn’t make him not confuse me for someone else (another girl he was talking to, I assume). How, you wonder? Perhaps it was the fact that in numerous conversations he kept mentioning my “love for Brooklyn.” Funny as I’d only crossed the East River into Brooklyn only once at that point.
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With Matt, our first encounter started off in almost the same way except we kept our attraction under wraps for a little longer. We’d exchange glances for about an hour before we finally were in close enough proximity to exchange words. From that moment on, it was as if no one else in the room existed. I wanted to absorb everything that was him – his words, his scent, his touch. But that pesky thing called distance and our 25-year-old immaturity prevented us from pursuing anything further. However, our connection was so strong that months later when we ran into each other again, it was impossible to even pretend to be coy or front like the chemistry wasn’t still there. Within minutes we were seated side by side, fingers entwined, ignoring the world, having eyes only for each other.

This close encounter of the sequel kind was fun while it lasted, but in the weeks following the rekindling of our flame, I realized that it wasn’t distance alone keeping us from a relationship. It was the fact that we were just different people on different paths wanting different things in the years ahead. About a year after that, when I randomly ran into him and his girlfriend at the time, I also discovered another reason we would never make it as a couple.

He needed someone who needed him more than I ever could.

Then, there was Jason. Jason and I had more than enough in common. And just like Jerry Maguire said, he had me at “hello.” I was hooked. I thought for sure that our intense, can’t-get-enough-of-each-other chemistry would develop into something more significant the first time. But it didn’t. Perhaps I came on too strong or he was too distracted by his first year practicing law. Or, perhaps it was the distance once again. I never asked. Instead, the glutton for punishment that I am, tested the waters again years later and thought this time would be different. My heart told me no (if it was suppose to work, it would have the first time!), but my mind, intoxicated by the smell of his cologne, made my body remember how it felt when he was near. The butterflies in my stomach. The tingle that migrated up my spine when his hand merely grazed my face. My mind and body tag teamed my heart and convinced it to say yes. To go down this unknown path with him again.

For whatever his reasons, he didn’t want to commit to me. And after running the relationship through my head a billion times and asking my friends the questions I wanted to ask him, I finally made peace with the situation.

I came to the understanding that there is someone out there that is better suited for me. Someone with whom I’ll share not only a physical connection, but a mental, emotional, and spiritual connection as well.

The moral of my not-so-fairy tales – chemistry alone does not a relationship make. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think you can have a relationship without it. I see it as the glue that holds all of the other pieces together. Without it, aren’t you just friends? However, the key is to not let your intense connection cloud or skew your judgments. Keep your eyes open to see him for all of what he is, including his flaws, his differences. Be aware of deal breakers and signs that you aren’t meant to be. Be with the one who embraces you for everything that you are and everything you are not. The one who returns your phone calls, knows which boroughs you’ve been to, and finds your independence exhilarating. Be with the one who makes you a priority because you are so worthy.

Début de l'événement 20.05.2022

Fin de l'événement 20.05.2022

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8 Different Relationship Labels and What They Mean

Tue, 20 May 2025 09:26:18 +0000

8 Different Relationship Labels and What They Mean

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When I was in graduate school I took a nonfiction book writing class. My final project was to write a book proposal. I had yet to develop Love Trips: A Collection of Relationship Stumbles. At this point in my life there was only one star in my love story – Elijah.

Still, I was obsessed with the ins and outs of relationships. So I wrote my book proposal on different relationship labels. In other words, What Relationship Are You Really In, Girl?! It was a working title. Though the book was never released (I never pitched it or self-published) I still have my notes.

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Hold on to your titles, women. Here are the different types of relationship labels that are used today.

Girlfriend

This label has been around for centuries and it’s not going anywhere. It’s self-explanatory. You are his girlfriend. He is your boyfriend. You hang out, spending weekends together. Your are a couple. But do you plan for the future? Do you think as a “we” versus “me”? If you do, your relationship is at a higher level. You are more than his girlfriend; you are now his partner.

Partner (or Wife)

This man is your ride or die. He’s your BFF, soulmate, and comrade. You consult each other when making decisions. You talk about how you’re spending the holidays (your mom’s again? Damn!) and how to raise your future children (spanking or no spanking?). This is the man you plan to spend your life with and vice versa. You are his right-hand woman. You are his partner whether or not he’s put a ring on it.

Jump Off

According to Urban Dictionary (the best source for these kind of terms), a jump off is a woman who is a casual sex partner of “dubious sexual practices.” Damn. Urban Dictionary used the word dubious – how fancy. In laments terms, you are down for whatever whenever with no strings attached. You are just sex. Nothing else. In other words, “a hassle-free fuck.” Urban Dictionary is pure poetry.

The Backup

The backup is a woman who is “on the hook” or “on the shelf,” as I like to call it. She’s a woman who has a lot to offer, and the man knows it. That’s why he doesn’t just tell her he’s just not that into her. He is into her. Sometimes. She’s a good woman and he can’t stand the thought of losing her, even if he may never commit.

Booty Buddy

A booty buddy is similar to a jump off only there may be a history there. A booty buddy is often an ex, a friend, or (if you dare) a coworker ala Eliza Doolite and her ‘Sup’ guy on “Selfie.” So it’s better than a jump off. Not by much but at least this guy will talk to you in between thrusts. And not always in a dirty way.

The Side Chick (or Mistress)

White guys call her mistress. Latinos call her la otra. Street dudes (or rappers even as soft as Drake) call her a side chick. The side chick is just that – a woman on the side. She isn’t a man’s back up. A back up has some hope of being the official girlfriend or partner some day (usually when the man she’s waiting on is done playing the field). The side chick rarely becomes a man’s girl or partner. There’s exceptions to the rule, but don’t bank on it, mistresses.

E-Relationship or Text Relationship

If you’ve watched MTV’s “Catfish,” you know that plenty of people have e-relationships. That is they fall in love and only communicate virtually or via text (in that case, it’s a text relationship) with people they’ve never met. This relationship rarely gets offline. Because it’s usually a big fat lie.

Flirtationship

You talk to that cutie all of the time. He smirks. You giggle. He hugs you. You rub his back. Yet he’s never asked you out. You’ve never even kissed! This is the classic scenario for a flirtationship – a relationship that is only for flirting purposes and isn’t a relationship at all. I’ve been in a flirtationship before. He was a coworker that I looked forward to seeing and flirting with daily, hoping he’d ask for my number. (That work number does not count!) He never did and I discovered he had a girlfriend. I was in a flirtationship and didn’t even know it. You can quote me on that.

Début de l'événement 20.05.2022

Fin de l'événement 20.05.2022

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Lovelace Ada

WikiAdmin — Tue, 25 May 2021 11:00:19 +0000

Lovelace Ada

Nom Lovelace

Prénom Ada

Mon métier, ma fonction Pionnière de la science informatique

Ma présentation

J'ai réalisé le premier véritable programme informatique, lors de mon travail sur un ancêtre de l'ordinateur : la machine analytique de Charles Babbage.

Nom de la structure Université de Cambridge

Site Internet https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ada_Lovelace

Ville Londres

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Sortie Culturelle

WikiAdmin — Mon, 24 May 2021 22:54:03 +0000

Sortie Culturelle

Description La culture, moins on en a, plus on l'étale!

Début de l'événement 30.05.2023 - 16:00

Fin de l'événement 02.05.2021 - 18:00

Adresse url https://www.yeswiki.net

Adresse Avenue des Champs Elysées

Code postal 75000

Ville Paris

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Framasoft

WikiAdmin — Wed, 12 Feb 2020 14:12:58 +0000

Framasoft

Site web https://framasoft.org/fr/

Type de ressource

Partenaire ressource

Description Framasoft, c’est une association d’éducation populaire, un groupe d’ami·es convaincu·es qu’un monde numérique émancipateur est possible, persuadé·es qu’il adviendra grâce à des actions concrètes sur le terrain et en ligne avec vous et pour vous !

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Un beau logo pour Yeswiki

WikiAdmin — Wed, 12 Feb 2020 13:16:06 +0000

Un beau logo pour Yeswiki

Résumé Il fallait le rafraichir, nous l'avons fait !

Billet Après multiples discussions, tests et essais, un logo plus actuel a été créé pour Yeswiki
Nous espérons que vous l'aimerez ;-)

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Un nouveau thème pour Yeswiki

WikiAdmin — Wed, 12 Feb 2020 12:17:49 +0000

Un nouveau thème pour Yeswiki

Résumé Margot, voilà le nom du nouveau thème qui sera distribué avec la prochaine version de Yeswiki

Billet Plus moderne, mieux pensé, plus graphiqu.
Margot permettra d'unifier les rendus graphiques des wikis.

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Yeswikiday

WikiAdmin — Wed, 12 Feb 2020 11:21:49 +0000

Yeswikiday

Description Une journée pour faire avancer le projet Yeswiki dans la bonne humeur

Début de l'événement 30.04.2020 - 07:00

Fin de l'événement 30.04.2020 - 14:00

Adresse url https://yeswiki.net/?DocumentatioN

Code postal 7700

Ville Mouscron

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Yeswiki : le site officiel

WikiAdmin — Wed, 12 Feb 2020 11:10:01 +0000

Yeswiki : le site officiel

Site web https://yeswiki.net

Type de ressource

Site web ressource

Description Tout ce qu'il y a à savoir sur Yeswiki

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Youpi ici c'est le titre

WikiAdmin — Fri, 24 Jan 2020 09:42:52 +0000

Youpi ici c'est le titre

Description Un événement autour du vin, c'est pour cela qu'il est à Bordeaux...

Début de l'événement 08.01.2020

Fin de l'événement 10.01.2020

Ville Bordeaux

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